gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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