Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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