This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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