five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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