For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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