you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
