she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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