Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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