trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
