I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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