i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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