what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
