shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
