hotel room ftw
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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