Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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