I would go down on you faster than GM stock
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
