the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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