I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I don't deserve a penis
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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