Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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