Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
