There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
