Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
