You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Drunk is not a location!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
