He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
PANTIES FOUND
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
