apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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