You're my little dorito
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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