So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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