I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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