My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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