That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
