Your mouth is God's brothel.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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