Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
How external is "for external use only"?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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