Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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