she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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