I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
