Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
