Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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