She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i wish my penis had a tongue
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand Curling. That high.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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