Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
