I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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