What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize