i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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