I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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