its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize