Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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