you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
