i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
