yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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