38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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