What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize