she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
