It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
His nipple licking is glorious
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