And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
