i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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