I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
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