I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
