Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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