I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
