cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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