I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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