Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
